I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Of course I have a pirate flag
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
