sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Ladies don't puke and tell
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
