So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
two words...techno handjob
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
