i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
