where does the pee come out of this thing
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
