I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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