yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
