you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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