...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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