I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
