Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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