i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
