I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
