Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
either way he was missing a nipple.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
