I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
