Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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