it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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