i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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