so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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