I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
