I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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