her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
