love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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