I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
