You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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