Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
