Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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