I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I have aggressive nipples.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
