Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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