Taylor Swift is so right about you.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
