I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
