her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
