what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
