i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
