Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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