whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
