Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize