my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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