I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
