i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
