i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Hippo gnu deer
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
