And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
