he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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