I'm so fucking centered right now
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
