Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
