just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Randomize
