He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
