i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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