If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
