He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
